A Haiku or Two

7 Apr 2008

These haiku are grouped by author rather than put in chronological order. You may be able to tease some of the exchanges out. It’s not important though. They stand on their own as proper haiku do.

George’s Haiku 27 Mar 2008

Your status requests
Remind me of a child’s whine
Are we there yet? No.

A relaxed boss
Who has not promised the moon
Only in your dreams.

You seek but don’t understand.
Nor does customer.

Late reading this thread
Rushing and regrettably
Forgetting to plan

Feminine raging
Her lips let slip angry words
and then caesura

At school in Athens
I would walk through Normaltown
The closest I’ve been

In the time it takes
to count all these syllables
you could be working.

While blackberry jams
She asks, “what are you writing?”
“haiku.”... “Gesundheit.”


Bruce’s Haiku 27 Mar 2008

Corporate teambuilding.
A vision of excellence
or of exodus?

Marta at airport
Kiosk returns dollar coins.
“Are these things tokens?”

Panhandling rider
Captive Marta audience
“No. Dude just on crack.”

Today’s agenda
“Executive luncheon” Yeah.
We’re so important.

“Diversity Day”
See, we’re not all that different.
HR checks its box.

HIPAA Compliance.
“Valuable privacy safeguards”
foiled by careless staff.

IT builds “relationships”
with business units.

Now instead we say:
“Training Opportunity” -
not “Jessie screwed up”.

Constructive feedback.
It’s evaluation time.
Hey – quantify this…

“Local Admin rights”
Business leaders cannot have -
Nanny-state IT

Is it considered
tactical or strategic?
Or stratactical?

Resource management:
is not a skillset

Kaplan and Norton -
Thanks a lot; just what we need -
Your balanced scorecard

“Best Places to Work”
Winning the award again!
The judges have left.

Open enrollment.
Why did the co-pay double?
...and it’s worse coverage.

Process management.
Now no one actually fails
It’s just bad process.

Six Sigma Blackbelt -
Faking math comprehension…
your bubble will burst.

The deliverable
is big and sure weighs a lot…
must be first-class work.

So fearful of change -
we cling to the waterfall.
Broken SDLC.

Haughty new leader…
He likes to say “fungible”.
Or is it “bungho|e”?

Yum… our delicious
corporate cafeteria.
Low bid wins contract.

Make up fake award:
A “Unity Medallion”
Sounds like a real thing!

Insant Messaging?
That’s not something we allow…
too vulnerable.

“You pagan poseur!”
Graffiti for Hephaestus
“Tubal Cain wuz here!”

“What is the status?”
Still responding to the last
“What is the status?”


Andrew’s Haiku 27 Mar 2008

For each line of code
A skittle as my reward
Blood sugar so high

Coding to deadline
Mail server, yield your secrets
Access denied, No!

Seven interruptions
My cube is like a bus stop
Thunderstorms here soon.

Why are you in here?
He asks another question
Still pool knows nothing

Pour a foundation
There is not enough concrete!
Fill with employees

Oh no! costs are high
Who knows what to do about it?
Hire a consultant!

Long ago i told you
now you say, “we will do this”
pay me, ignore me

Consultants are paid
Gold and lapis lazuli.
Time for team building!

My cube is a box
And in that box I will sit
Trees droop with spring buds

People are assets
Very very important to us.
No training for you!

The deadline passes
Spring winds blow clouds across sky
My iPod is charged up

Pads, pens, post-its, do
staplers have buddha nature?
Leaf floats on water

The bank is forever
compounding infinitely
When I am but dust

I could be working
but writing haiku is fun
and the sun shines

It’s bath time. No no!
It’s bedtime. No no no no!
Yes, my son is two.

Our relationship
Grows and prospers. Will you sign
My gpg key?

Medium of choice:
Ancient Tubal’s, iron. Modern
Tubal’s, irony.

email: is it done?
then a walk-up: is it done?
that wasn’t the last

Yes, project is late.
Why are you bothering me?
Be like a still pool!

Asking twenty times
You are like a hyper squirrel
put a cork in it.

Bloviate, yammer
blather chatter prattle drone.

Yes, I write haiku
it keeps me from leaping up
And throttling you